How to Repel Friends and Not Influence People

WHY SHOULD YOU READ THIS BOOK? Do you want to improve your ability to develop mutually-beneficial long-term relationships, to create positive conversations, and to win favor with potential clients, employers and friends? If so this is the book for you. Writing under the pen-name of Claytron Menendez, Clay Clark teaches you through HUMOR what not to do so that you can learn what to become a person of impact and influence and a DRAMATICALLY MORE EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATOR. TIPS TO REPEL FRIENDS AND NOT INFLUENCE PEOPLE TAUGHT IN THIS BOOK INCLUDE: If You Don't Want to Get Honey and You Want to Get Stung, Kick Over the Beehive A Super-Move to Become a Dull Conversationalist How to Guarantee That People Instantly Don't Like You Email People Constantly You Can Win an Argument If You Yell Loud Enough The Best Way to Make an Enemy and How to Make Enemy Surround Yourself with Nafarrius Idiots, Dramatic Dudes, Flaky Friends and Invest Your Time Trying to Change Them He Who Can Repel Everyone is Empowered to Sprint Naked Creation Unavoidable at all Times Get as Many Regrettable Tattoos as Possible While Angry, Through the Toll Road of Life Provide Feedback and Criticism to People Who Aren't Depressed, Drunk or High A Spoonful of Drano Makes the Medicine Go Down Pet a Cat Backwards and Name it Sh@# Head No Matter What Just Happened, One Up Everybody in Their Asking for Your Advice Do This and You'll Make People Hate You A Great Way to a Bad First Impression ABL - Always Be Late (and Always Have an Excuse That Ultimate Moment of Triumph The Gasoline You Can Pour on the Fires of Complaints Make Problems Seem Unfixable and Dwell on Them without You Believe for Being Late) If You Do This Move You Will Certainly Be On a Collision Trying to Solve Them The Magical Formula That Will Cause Even Sweet Elderly Course with Failure. Christian Women to Give You "The Finger." What Nobody Wants and How to Make It An Appeal That Nobody Likes The Movies Don't Do It, Bishop T.D. Jakes Doesn't Do It. So Why Don't You Try It? When Something Is Not Working, Stay Loyal To It Be a Troll: How to Not Change People While Giving Great Offense and Stirring Up Resentment If You Must Find Fault. Start Off by Offending the Other Party. Focus On What They Did Wrong and Never Mention What You Have Ever Done Wrong Create a Yelp! Account and Invest Hours and Hours Into Becoming a Self-Proclaimed Restaurant Snob No One Likes to Take Orders So Give Orders to People You Just Met, People You Have No Rapport with and People You Are Not In Charge of A TON of Orders Don't Ever Let the Other Person Save Face How to Spur People On to Failure The Big Secret of Repelling People Never Save Money and Always Live Above Your Means Practice Poor Hygiene When the Boss is Not Looking Choosing to Remain Poor Requires a Commitment to Jackassery